By John Mayaki
Veteran singer and social activist, Charles Oputa, aka Charly Boy has declared his intention to walk naked on the street if the Labour Party candidate in the February 25 presidential election, Peter Obi, emerges victorious at the election petitions tribunal – but wait, whoever sees him should hail him for his thoughtfulness and commitment.
Here are the details for those who intend to walk naked – the Obi Tribunal Circus took center stage sometimes ago in Abuja, and the audience were in for a wild ride. The Labour Party Presidential Candidate, played the role of the protagonist in this comedic drama.
It all began with Mr. Obi’s watery petition, where he tried to establish double nomination and disqualification based on a civil forfeiture order. But as the story unfolded, it became clear that the petitioner’s legal team had set a new record for election petitioning in Nigeria – a record low, that is!
In his written address, Mr. Obi’s lawyers presented 13 ‘relevant facts’ that turned out to be a mix of regurgitated arguments and confusing jargon. They even cracked a joke about a 25% vote in the FCT, comparing it to a mythical ocean in the Sahara desert. Talk about creative imagination!
Their attempts to disqualify President Bola Tinubu based on a 1993 civil forfeiture bordered on absurdity. They embarked on a definition spree, trying to interpret legal terms like ‘fine.’ But, oh dear, they missed a crucial point in the Constitution that made their arguments as futile as trying to catch a fish in the Sahara.
As the trial continued, Mr. Obi’s lawyers couldn’t keep their eyes off the IREV portal. They spent a whopping 70 paragraphs ranting about uploading polling unit results and alleged non-compliance. Their obsession with IREV led them astray, and they missed the forest for the trees, leaving the audience puzzled and wondering why they were barking up the wrong tree.
But wait, it gets even more hilarious! They tried to convince the court that the FCT should be treated like a king, whose votes outweighed the other 36 states combined. The courtroom erupted in laughter, wondering how a single vote in the FCT could be crowned as the supreme ruler of votes!
The supporters of Mr. Obi clung to hope, dreaming of a ‘restoration of mandate,’ but their hopes were nothing more than a mirage in the desert of reality. The circus had its moments of entertainment, but it failed to sway the court.
As the curtains fell on the Obi Tribunal Circus, the audience was left amused and bewildered. The tale became a cautionary fable for future petitioners on how not to mount an election challenge.
And so, the political drama in Nigeria continues, with a promise of more laughter and absurdities to come. Who knows what antics the next episode will bring? Let’s all sit back and enjoy the show, including those who intend to walk naked!
